Short Story: Lena's Epiphany

Lena Santillo gratefully sank into the luxurious comforts of first class, realizing the next four hours were totally in the hands of the flight team. She was literally running away from home!

With Rico's unexpected death, her soul mate for the last 40 years, Lena wondered if this was even her home any more? The memories were choking her. She had slept on the sofa for the past week, barely able to set foot into their bedroom.

Thank goodness for her baby sister, Mona! For 15 years, Lena had felt her sister slipping away emotionally. Yet one call had changed all of that in an instant. Lena had been right by her side, even driving her to the airport this morning.

For exactly one week ago, the love of her life had been discovered, shot once, through the head. She simply would not allow herself to think about the specifics, at least not for now. The murder was under police investigation. All evidence pointed to a professional hit. The Detective's voice on the phone yesterday did not inspire hope that Lena would ever find out who was responsible for Rico's death.

Ten years Lena's junior, her sister was no stranger to sorrow. Ironically, Mona had married Rico's kid brother, Al. He died tragically, 15 years ago, in a Mob hit. Now, almost 50, she had honestly never been the same. Then again, nobody really was.

Her parents had finally snapped. They had never fully supported either of their daughters' marriages. Although never publicly acknowledged, everyone in town pretty much knew the Santillo family had strong ties to the Mob. They also happened to be heavily involved in town politics and were always on the winning side.

In general, most people tended to either stay in good favor of or practiced active avoidance of the Santillos. Lena's parents, whose fervent desire had once been for one of their daughters to enter the convent, now prayed for the daily safety of their girls and grandchildren.

Nevertheless, true love prevailed for Lena and Mona. These sisters, now with husbands, remained inseparable in the beginning as well. Living only minutes away, their children grew up together over the years. Before Al's death, the biggest disagreement Lena could remember was an ongoing feud on who made the best ziti!

With her husband's murder, Mona became bitter and distant. Rico cut all affiliation with the Mob. He quietly walked into the family business and announced he would be working as the new construction foreman. Lena mourned the loss of her sister's friendship and didn't know how to fix her husband's unspoken guilt.

Now, Rico had been cruelly snatched away. They never got to say good bye. Mona was trying to make up for 15 years with her attentions. Lena's life suddenly felt like a Tilt a Whirl ride that would not stop.

Lena needed to escape. Her parents would be okay. So would the kids. Mona had helped her throw a few essentials in a bag to stay as long as she needed in her seaside cottage along the Carolina shoreline. She wondered why she hadn't come to this place as a haven more often? She had a video of Rico that Father Santos had given her after the funeral and some sympathy letters she wanted to read in private. She needed to catch up with her own head, if any of this could start making sense.

Minutes turned quietly into hours, and the plane was almost ready to land! Lena had felt such comfort at hearing Father Santos' words in Rico's eulogy. This was the only part of the excruciatingly long service and sea of faces she could even remember:

Rico was a real man with a wide range of emotions and actions in his 60 years. I was personally honored to call this man my friend. We shared a love of golf. He was a man of few words, yet he always told the truth.

Rico loved his Lena, first and foremost. This was a case of 'love at first sight' from the moment he saw you in first grade, my dear. He thought you had the sweetest blue eyes. He loved that you played hard to get all through those school years and thought you were worth the wait.

Through the years, he told me that you were the best wife and mother a man could have ever dreamed of. He said that you had the patience of a saint, especially with him! You loved and forgave him unconditionally. You made him a better man each and every day.

Rico was crushed when his baby brother was gunned down.. He told me he should have 'taken the hit'. Even though we talked about this many times; in the end, I still don't think he ever truly forgave himself. He thought he betrayed Al's trust. Yet, he never saw the bullet coming. Instead he saw the fear and panic, as his brother died in his arms.

He was thinking about Al the day of the accident at the construction site. Rico made me promise not to tell anyone, even you, Lena, while he was alive. He could feel a sharp stab in his eye as he was collapsing, thinking he heard a gunshot. Everyone else heard the warning signals of the crane. He woke up to the blurry vision of faithful Lena by his hospital bed, praying the Hail Mary. Quoting the surgeon, he had 'cheated death'.

Rico actually felt better that he lost vision in one eye as a result. He thought God was teaching him a lesson. He never returned to the construction site. He was truly a proud man.

But Rico kept giving back every way he could. I'm not ashamed to admit that, on more than one occasion, his check saved the day, when the collection plate did not. The beautiful renovated Stations of the Cross were recently dedicated to the memory of Al, thanks to his generous donations. I could go on all day with examples. I never had to ask. He always came through.

Our deepest prayers are offered to the Santillo family in your sorrow. Now Rico will always watch over all of you, as he genuinely tried his best on this Earth. May God bless you and bring you peace.

Blurry moments turned into hours, and the landing was uneventful. A generous tip was given to the cabbie, as her bags were taken directly to the front door of the Santillo's beach front cottage. The local 24 hour diner delivered soup to heat for later, just as Lena finished unpacking.

Feeling the tears start to stream down her face, Lena realized she could finally sit down on their enormous sofa, built for two in front of the wide screen. She nursed a cup of peppermint tea, as anything stronger might have caused a total collapse. She would be gentle with herself watching Rico on the video that Father Santos had given her after the funeral.

Even at the age of 60, he was still so handsome. Lena almost expected him to come bursting through the screen, larger than life. Only a week ago, they had been inseparable. Now, she stared at Rico's image like he was the lead actor in the story of her life.

Oh my darling Lena,

How I hate for you to be seeing me like this. I hope you know I have loved you with my heart and soul. I have never wanted you to experience even one moment of pain.

I have tried to do right by you and our wonderful children. They will be fine because of your influence on them.

Thank you for never judging me. I know you have wanted more for me, when I chose the wrong path in life. It cost me my brother. I have never been able to forgive myself for not dying instead of him.

I have lived for years in my own private hell. I have talked to Father Santos every week about my guilty conscience. I will never forgive myself. I am so afraid to see Al again. Hell, maybe I won't even get that chance? I guess only God knows that one.

It is as if I plucked my own eye out that day at the construction site. I just couldn't get Al out of my head. I swear I could hear him screaming one minute, and the next thing I know you were praying over me. Do you know he would have been 35 that day?

No one ever said anything. Instead, everyone was fussing over me in the hospital like I was dying or something.

I was glad not to go back to the job. I guess to make a bad pun, I just couldn't 'see' the point. I know the guys had been muttering, "The old man just didn't seem himself anymore". Everything just seemed to be such an effort for me. Through it all, you were right there.

It broke my heart to see the distance between you and Mona. I know she hated the sight of me. I swear when she came to the hospital after the accident, I could actually feel the anger towards me. She couldn't leave fast enough. Who could blame her? Your sister's hatred was a small fraction of what I felt towards myself, each and every day.

I know I have always been 'guilty until proven guilty' to everyone but you. Thank you for always believing in the best of me. It was too late for Al; but I swear to you, I never went back to the old life. Even with one eye, I could never get that look of terror out of my mind.

Well, honey, I just can't pull it off anymore. Today, the good doctor told me I have three months to live at the most. I know I haven't been the best with routine check ups like you always asked. Please don't be mad. What are you gonna do? I know you hate when I say that, Baby, but it's the truth! Oh, by the way, it's my pancreas. It has something to do with making insulin, or, in my case, not making insulin. I know you understand that stuff better than I do. To me, an 'organ' is what you play in the Church!

Well, I figure this is God's plan too. He is giving me three months with you. Why should I cry about it? Today I feel pretty good. I plan to take this video to Father Santos for safe keeping. For some reason, Mona called to see me, so I am meeting her. She sounded peaceful. And then, I am going to ask my best girl out for a nice seafood dinner!

I plan to remind you each and every day how much I love you, until the good Lord decides it is my time to leave this Earth. I guess, in the end, that is all I ever had control over.

Lena, live your life completely and fully with absolutely no regrets. Know that you have truly made me the happiest man in the entire world.

Forever yours throughout all time,

I love you,

Your Rico

Lena found herself walking aimlessly along the shoreline. She craved to feel the ripples of the ocean against her as a reminder of her own presence. In time, she sat on a rock, allowing herself to read Mona's letter. She sought the comfort only a sister can provide after this final irony. Rico was dying, and she had not known. Now he was gone, even sooner than the dreaded prognosis. This horror brought up so many memories of Al; but Mona reentered her life, as if nothing ever happened. Thank God! She needed her sister!

Dear Lena,

I know I haven't been around much since Al was killed. I just couldn't stand to look at Rico's face. I am so sorry. I know how much you loved him. But dragging Al into 'the life', your husband surely ended my one chance at true love.

I could have clawed Rico's good eye out the day of the accident. That was MY man's 35th birthday! Everyone seemed to forget about that! I left the hospital as soon as I could.

Oh, how I hated to see you cry! We both cried so much through the years. I guess Mom and Dad tried to warn us. We never listened. Love is loyal. You learned how to hide those tears very well.

Rico said he was through with the Mob when Al was killed. Hah! Liar! Honey, he fooled us all. I will spare you the details, but I have it on good authority that Al never stopped. So, I guess you can say I took matters into my own hands. That's a little something your husband was very used to.

I could not save my dear husband. But I sure as hell could save my only sister from a life of certain misery with a man who does not deserve her. You are free, my dear Lena. You no longer have to look over your shoulder to see who is following you.

I spoke to Father Santos after the funeral. I told him all about it. I never pulled the trigger, but I arranged the hit. And mine was the last face he saw. Rico actually had the nerve to be smiling peacefully at me and did not even try to defend himself. I feel like Father was 'staring me down' during the eulogy.

I only pray you can forgive me. I will always love you,

Mona

As Lena headed ever so slowly back to the cottage, she realized that nothing in life was ever as it seemed.

© Maria Jordan (November, 2011)

Although I cannot relate to the specific circumstances of 'Lena's' fictitious tragedy, I found myself weaving some of my traits into her character.

One epiphany I have discovered is how little control I have over anything, except my own behavior. I believe, on some level, 'Lena' has discovered this as well; but this conclusion will need to be drawn by your own interpretation, after reading this piece.

As ever, I humbly welcome your comments. Thank you for your ongoing support as I continue to explore my creative writing style.

"The events in our lives happen in a sequence in time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order... the continuous thread of revelation." (Eudora Welty)

All my best always, marcoujor.